I had occasion to work with a chap who bragged that he, “never did dishes.” What a missed opportunity.
Men are constantly challenged to know what to do to get on their significant other’s good side without having to be told, “Move your buns Lothario, fall’s been here for a month and the electric rake you got yourself for our anniversary is fully charged.”
I can now reveal how I pile up mega points: start washing the dishes.
I’m not talking about after dinner but (slowly) dur-ing-the-prep-ar-ation-of-dinner.
Sure you can set the table to get a nod of appreciation but you can almost train a pet to do that.
While dishes pile up during meal preparation, you start washing them. The effect on your partner is unbelievable starting with a questioning, ‘Now what’s he doing?’ quickly followed by an almost imperceptible ’Wow!’ and then finishing with a mile wide smile and an added splash of brandy to romance the sauce.
And it lasts because once dinner is ready, the kitchen is clean. None of this after dinner, “That was lovely, I guess we’d better clean up,” depressed state.
Before I get too excited and have to sit down from the wonder of it all and fall into a dizzying why-didn’t-I-think-of-this-before? state, I must confess that this isn’t the only answer.
There will be times when there are no dishes to clean and your significant other feels you’re not carrying your weight and dirtying a dish just to clean it to get the point meter off zero will more likely get her to wondering why she agreed to elope with you in the first place even though she provided the ladder.
No, you’ll have to continue to do the little things you do now to keep the peace: take out the garbage; bring in the garbage pails; clean up the garbage that the racoons didn’t find tasty; answer the front door and tell the canvasser, ‘No, but thank you for pointing out our chimney is a day away from resting in our driveway’; answer the front door and tell the Black and Blue Party that you already voted for them in the advance poll; answer the front door and feign fright from the mature individual in no discernible costume who is doing what exactly going out on a Halloween night?
But for that gotta-hit-it-outta-the-park occasion, you’ve got the answer. You’re welcome. As for my “never did dishes” friend? I hear he’s on his third marriage.